


Smoke In Their Eyes

by Evie_adams273



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Albus probably has a crush on Scorpius, Canon Compliant, Crushing on best friend, Delphi, Delphi as an aunt not a crush, Family, Gen, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Hogwarts, One Shot, Post canon, Talking About Trauma, boys chatting in bed, dormitory, interpretation of source material, mentions of delphi, minor minor angst, pre couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25003336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evie_adams273/pseuds/Evie_adams273
Summary: Albus talks to Scorpius about Delphi, and the things he really felt about the 'incident', a few hours after Scorpius asked Rose out.
Relationships: Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Smoke In Their Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: talking about trauma and manipulation
> 
> So this is my idea of Albus' relationship with Delphi and what that was actually about. I find it preferable to setting her up as a crush because that is weird, and their dynamic during part one reminds me of the relationship I had with my aunt while first coming to terms with the fact that my relationship with my mum was fairly unsalvageable and that I wasn't very close with my dad either.  
> So yeah. This is my take and I don't hate this because the anxiety attacked stopped a few hours ago.

Albus sat silently on his bed, turning over a couple of pebbles that he’d picked up earlier for the purpose of fiddling. There was a lot he needed to get out of his system but he didn’t fully understand where to even start. The conversation was difficult at the best of times, what with it being centred around the woman who had caused their trauma.

He had considered writing it down in a letter, before showing that letter to Scorpius and tearing it up and burning it immediately after. The world didn’t need more rumours to spread about him. Every arsehole even vaguely interested in the Potter family had facilitated a field days’ worth of news coverage about what happened. Most of it had been speculations. Most of it had been bullshit.

However, Albus wasn’t willing to put himself out into the world to discredit any of it, so he just kept his head down and kept attempting to move forward. He didn’t know whether that was happening, given that, among other things, he didn’t sleep through the night more than three times a week but it was more than it had been. Technically, that meant it was progress.

It had been six months, but time didn’t matter. The idea of time healing things felt like a myth made up to make people feel a little bit better about themselves. Or perhaps it had been created for the comfort of friends trying to help their loved ones through trauma, to give _them_ an end goal.

Albus could appreciate that as an option. Most of his family never knew what to do or say in order to offer help. They simply floundered around, apologising for how they couldn’t help and saying they were always there listen and try and support. Albus appreciated the gesture – he really did – but there was a point where that rang dry, because no one seemed to understand that he didn’t mind that not everyone understood. He just needed someone to listen sometimes, without floundering and apologising.

Albus was okay with the only people who really helped him during this time being Scorpius and his parents. Because the three of them actually knew and understood what was going on inside his head.

Scorpius settled on the bed opposite him, offering a small smile. Albus tried to return it. It didn’t really work. He looked away again.

Scorpius’ decision to ask Rose out earlier had somewhat come out of the blue. It had been the most spontaneous thing Albus had ever known Scorpius to do (apart from agreeing to jump off a train). He had supported his friend in it, though he had felt a little strange at the time. Like he had wanted Scorpius to be happy, but the idea of him being happy with Rose felt – felt bittersweet.

Albus shook the thought. He didn’t want to get distracted. They were alone and it was the perfect opportunity to actually talk about the thing that had been weighing on his mind for months. 

“You know what you said earlier,” he mumbled, “about the potions professor?”

“I’m sorry,” Scorpius said quickly. “It was a stupid joke and I really shouldn’t have said something like that.”

“I knew you were joking. I wasn’t annoyed.”

“I’m sorry anyway.”

Albus smiled at Scorpius, wiping his hands on his trousers and taking a deep breath. They were here. They were on the cusp of the necessary conversation. Turning away from it now would simply make it worse next time he tried to do this.

“I just – there was something I wanted to talk about,” Albus bit his lip. “Sit next to me?”

Scorpius nodded, standing and settling again beside him without invading his personal space. Albus closed his eyes to stop him picturing the woman they had to talk about. He needed darkness. Which felt strange. He was scared of the dark, apart from when he needed it. Maybe he was a hypocritical. Maybe that didn’t matter right now.

“I don’t think I had a crush on Delphi,” he stared forward again. Scorpius didn’t say anything. “I know we both assumed that, and I think that’s probably what she was trying to do. But it wasn’t like that.”

He dug his nails into his palms, knowing that it wasn’t a good idea to use it to focus himself. He didn’t have a better alternative. 

“There was something about her,” he continued. “I could trust her. I could talk to her. And she listened.” Silence. “Not that I don’t trust you – you’re my best friend and I care about you more than anyone in the world it’s just – I don’t know how to describe it…”

“She made you feel like there was a stable adult in your life,” Scorpius nodded. “I get it. You were alone.”

“I had you.”

“I can’t be a parent to you. I’m your friend. It’s different parts of your life and I get that.”

Albus nodded, flopping backwards and staring at the ceiling. He placed his hands on his stomach, feeling it rise and fall as he took each breath.

“It felt nice,” he murmured. “She was an adult who trusted me and treated me like an equal. She let me make my own decisions. It wasn’t controlling. But she was there when I needed to fall back on someone. Especially when – when you and I were – apart.”

Silence.

“I know it was all a lie. I know it was all just to manipulate me. But I miss it. Or I did. For a long time. It was over a month. I miss having someone there who was – who was like a parent…”

Albus trailed off. He’d spent a lot of time considering the thoughts in his head, but he’d never articulated it in this way. She wasn’t a parent. She never had been. But a relative of some sort. An adult he could actually trust, given that that seemed to be everyone’s advice for sorting problems: talk to a parent or an adult you trust.

He didn’t need another reminder of where trusting her had gotten them.

“I’m sorry,” he looked at Scorpius, sitting up again. “I shouldn’t be saying this about her after what she did.”

“You’re allowed to talk about it,” Scorpius said softly. “She hurt you too. I – I would have taken it over and over again if it would have saved you.”

“I wouldn’t have let you.”

“I know.”

Scorpius smiled at him, taking his hand, and Albus felt his stomach flutter somewhat. He smiled back. 

“How do you think fourth year would have gone if this hadn’t happened?” Albus mused.

“I think we’d still be being bullied. I don’t think anything would really be that different.”

There was one major difference that they didn’t mention. They didn’t need to. It hung in the air between them and Albus shut his eyes to try and take himself back to the hilltop with his dad. It had been a nice day.

“I was never angry with you,” Scorpius said quietly. “Throughout all of it, I wasn’t angry.”

Albus couldn’t help but ask. “Why not?”

“Because you’re my friend and you made mistakes. You didn’t do it purposefully, and I knew I willing to forgive you for everything if it meant that we would stay friends and stay together. And I’m aware I shouldn’t be as dependant on this one friendship as I am, but I don’t care anymore. There’s worse things.”

“They were some fairly major mistakes.”

“Except they weren’t. Even the things she said when you first met, they were all crafted specifically to make you trust her.”

Albus nodded. Really, he knew that he understood and believed what Scorpius was saying. Parts of his mind wanted to insist otherwise, but he knew.

The argument with his dad had been building for the entire time he had been at Hogwarts. Reports had shown that Delphi had been spying on them for significantly longer than any of them had previously realised. She had picked her moment and capitalised on it. Albus couldn’t make himself believe it was his fault when that had happened.

Or rather, he could, and it had taken nothing short of a fuck ton of internal arguments to convince himself of that fact. Even now, there were days when he just wanted to curl up in the corner of the most private place he could find and just scream.

It felt as if this would be an argument he would be having with himself for the rest of his life. While he knew it wasn’t a fair assumption, given how much time had passed since, verses how much time he had left in his life, it was still something he considered. The possibility that the guilt and the fear and the self-loathing were going to be a part of him forever.

“Albus,” Scorpius interrupted his thoughts softly. “It’s going to be okay, you know that?”

Albus nodded and Scorpius turned his chin so that they were looking at one another. Albus smiled shyly.

“I’m here for you,” Scorpius whispered, “right here.”

“I’m here for you too,” Albus said quickly. “You look after me a lot but you – you know?”

“I do,” Scorpius smiled, pulling Albus into a hug.

The two of them flopped back onto the bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. Smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think of this idea? It's one I'm a big fan of but I don't think I've talked to many people about it.  
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> social media: @evie_adams273  
> Black Lives Matter. Fuck TERFs.


End file.
